"Zero Candidates" Xu Mengnan, how is it now?

Surging news reporter Ge Mingning intern Sun Lingxiao

Xu Mengnan recently cut some small animations in the school dormitory. He did not leave home. The school had no effect on him.He is 33 years old. He studies undergraduates and lives in six people. He often cuts the films alone in the middle of the night.He planned to make a living after graduation.

What he could find about him on the Internet was still the matter about him who tried to get zero points in the college entrance examination.

Xu Mengnan deliberately did not answer in the 2008 college entrance examination. He wrote his own educational reform ideas on the examination paper. After the exam, he did not attract the media and experts. He ran away from home and tried to attract social attention.

Fourteen years have passed, and he goes out to work and re -examines. He seems to have let go of various realistic expectations.Even though he tried to get a chicken hair in zero points in the college entrance examination at that time, even if he learned to make a video "the start is late", he still looked forward to one day his animation number was bigger and he wanted to "add a little things".At the level.

He was used to his silence.When he wanted to take zero points on intentional test, he was worried for two years and did not let anyone know.

I told him that I had a brother and spent his adolescence silently, and I couldn’t communicate with him.Xu Mengnan told me, "He may find someone else in other places."

He wanted to talk to the world and "broadcast" according to his imagination, but did not receive the response he wanted.

In the education system he conceived, children should have determined their aspirations in junior high school, and disciplines that do not want to learn can give up in advance.But now, in his own life, he still answered very few questions about the way out.

In September 2022, Xu Mengnan, who was waiting for school in Mengcheng County.Surging News reporter Ge Mingning Tu

"Persuasion invalid" for this world

Around 2012, Xu Mengnan set up a website called "0 Bad of the College Entrance Examination", which has not been updated recently; he feels that his life behind him is worthwhile.After the "zero -score incident" ended, I changed a few different jobs, did some light physical labor, and also worked in Taobao store operations.Before re -examining, his last job was to monitor the machine and engraved a pattern on the product on the assembly line.Grand it until the off -work time, go around.

"College Entrance Examination 0 Sound" website screenshot

"Later, he got married," he said lightly.

It is a marriage introduced by the family. The maintenance time is not long, leaving two children.His son was about ten years old this year; his personality was active, unlike him, and he was a little afraid of him.During the summer vacation, he slept in a house, and his son and grandparents slept in another room.

At the beginning of this semester, Xu Mengnan’s parents decided to send the child to private boarding primary schools in the county.This school can go home once in two weeks.As a father, Xu Mengnan was reluctant, but remembered that sending the child to the village primary school to pass through a road, and could not pick up and drop off by himself. Parents were dangerous daily. Moreover, the scale of rural primary schools is much smaller today.There are only one -digit student in the class.

With a little self -deprecation, Xu Mengnan said that he could not fully practice "education ideals."Although he believes that academic performance is not very important, he will now check the child’s summer vacation. When you see the wrong one, you will explain to the child. Sometimes he talks about two or three hours a day: "My brother’s daughter goes to a tuition class every day, so two or three hoursIt doesn’t feel very long. "

After the college entrance examination, the outside world that Xu Mengnan was in has changed a lot of rounds. The pressure of the new generation of school children is still stunning, and the population continues to flow from rural to cities.In the past, Xu Mengnan thought that it should be simple -let teenagers choose a life direction as soon as possible so that they should stay in their hometown to work. In this way, after becoming parents, they do not have to go out to work.

Even if there are occasional reporters, no one asks his views on education.

He still insisted that the idea of high school is not wrong. Although it is not very original, he has been inspired by Han Han’s article entitled "Wearing a Cotton Jacket Bath": "For those who do not go to science research in the future, mathematics can only be in the beginning.The second level is absolutely enough. "

Seventeen -year -old Xu Mengnan read it and felt reasonable.He thought for a while, and the conclusion was roughly that it should be adjusted from the beginning of the entrance examination.He has carefully sorted out these ideas and applied to the college entrance examination. All students graduated from junior high school and should write a graduation report to determine their ideals. They only study related disciplines in high school. If they want to be a writer, they do not need to learn mathematics.Those who want to be a doctor do not need to learn Chinese.

At that time, he wrote his diary without a lot. According to his own, the diary was later burned by his father, and he recalled some clips and sent it to the Internet.He described that in the days when he was about to take the college entrance examination, he repeatedly recited in his heart that he wanted to write on the examination papers. When he met his classmates on the road, he greeted them and joked with them. He only worried about how to explain to his parents afterwards.He and several classmates rented in the county town, and their parents went out to work, and they did not contact much between them.

When he went to the test room, he was "flat and ordinary", and the most contradictory time had passed.He had been struggling to do this before, and did not imagine the consequences, as if he couldn’t imagine the feeling of death -he later wrote on his website. When he was about to take the college entrance examination, he would eat fried noodles.It’s like a full meal in front of the broken. "

For some time in high school, seats are scheduled according to academic performance.Because he didn’t understand what the meaning of reading so many courses, he gradually precipitated to the back row.

He sat at the back and looked at the classmates who thought it was "destroyed by education" at the time. For example, classmates A, "learning is very diligent, but not in the ranks of smart people." Under the pressure, the test scores gradually decreased.Xu Mengnan thought that if he only learned a few courses he was good at, he would be able to learn beautifully.

In the past ten years, in recent years, Xu Mengnan first admitted to the college of Anhui Academy of Arts and continued to undergraduate.In his horizon, not only the academic pressure of elementary school students has not been alleviated, but the college life that has not been experienced before is also very stressful. It may be more than ten years ago. Now he is close to graduation.Some test compilations, some qualification certificates of tutors, some people ask the squad leader to ask not to participate in school activities, and they are not relaxed for a moment.

He seems to be unable to understand the anxiety of others: "They are worried that they can’t pass the test and don’t know what to do. Maybe they just feel very important."

"Can’t get out of that step"

If life should not be filled with courses that you don’t like, what should I do with it?

After "that thing", Xu Mengnan worked in a factory in Shanghai and Zhejiang.Afterwards, there was a place where life was nostalgic: he was working in the factory, and he worked in his hand.

But he did not agree with the amateur life of most workers.From his perspective, it was a thorough material life. They bought things everywhere after they got out of work, eating, drinking and sleeping.He can also play with these colleagues, but not happy.

What he appreciated was that some colleagues engaged in the factory in the factory, which was faster than anyone else and did a good job.At least it shows that these people come to the factory to work for work purely for money.Xu Mengnan will also compare these people’s life with their own theoretical comparisons. If most people read a few lessons in the past and find their own interests in my spare time, "(work) is just their source of life.Hobbies. "" If a person doesn’t like anything, there is no fun, even if you have a lot of money, you still don’t want to do anything. Isn’t this a uncomfortable thing? "

While listening to an audio show uploaded by a high school Chinese teacher at work, Xu Mengnan would explain literary works. Some of them talked about learning methods and mentality. It was difficult to say which specific sentence touched him, and he decided to study again.

He always dreamed of for a while, and dreamed that he had returned to the classroom. Sometimes he was very happy and sometimes uncomfortable.

He was once considered a "elite" among a student, and I specifically asked him to confirm the description.He thinks that it can be said.Earlier, some classmates recalled that Xu Mengnan had a good grade in junior high school. He sometimes followed his family to the field and lay alone on the field to do mathematics.

It was when he was younger, he didn’t feel suffering."It’s not like now, there are many questions," there are only some examples in textbooks.He said that he could remember it again. His parents went to the field and were busy. Anyway, he had nothing to do, so he turned to do those questions.

At that time, the motivation to do the question was simple- "For the college." He remembered that the elementary school and the junior high school teacher in the town said so, "Then set up a family business, the like."

He remembers that because of his good grades and good, the teachers cared for him.For example, when he was in junior high school, he had a dispute with his classmates and even fighting. The teacher would say, "It must not be your reason, it must be his fault."

There was a semester’s first lesson. He was also "exhibited" by the teacher and did not need to speak. He just stood in front of the podium with another classmate to introduce his excellence and let the classmates learn from him- ""It should be very nervous. "He remembers that he doesn’t need to speak, otherwise he may not speak well.In his feelings, "standing up is to show up."Xu Mengnan had a small wish to be a representative of the lesson, but when he thought that the representatives of the lesson would find many people to accept homework, he would be shy in advance and not that step.

He has been a child who has not been in groups since he was a child.The original memory was to play with a cousin in the village. There were many children, and Xu Mengnan felt "unable to melt in"; in the classroom, not only could he not be a cadre or representative of the class, he could not answer in the class.Question: "Blushing, his voice trembling." Some teachers may take care of him, and later stopped calling him.

He also thought about changing himself. He remembered that he had done a questioning activity in the first year of high school; he recommended himself to the same class of classmates. Under psychological construction, he performed freely.But this event did not do it later.

He was very resistant to the exam, especially for mathematics. He did slowly and was always worried that he couldn’t finish doing it and was shocked.

He didn’t say these words to the people around him.High school classmates who rented a house with him only remembered that this person was alone and stayed up late. "Everything is hidden in his heart."

After high school, go back to the home in the village once a month.Parents have gone out to work.Grandpa and grandma looked at him, and did not urge him to learn, but did not let him watch TV, complaining about him "electricity".

School of school is painful. After high school, daily homework is written late at night, and you have to deal with the exam.When he was in high school, he thought of dropping out of school. At that time, his parents just went out to work. They were embarrassed to ask them for money. They wanted to finish all the knowledge and find out what kind of life.He didn’t think about it.

The difficulty of "helm" in life

The first black and white TV at home, he remembered it in junior high school.Xu Mengnan liked to watch criminal investigation dramas popular at the time.Sometimes, he also remembers other paths that he may have taken, such as the police school, a policeman; when he was younger, he thought about being a teacher, but he was all vague thoughts.

Xu Mengnan remembered that he may have been interested in things with electricity: riding a bicycle in junior high school, and ride four or five kilometers of country roads back and forth.He thought of driving power generation with a rotating pedal and engaged in a light without a battery.But this idea also flickered in the darkness. He regret not to from the guidance from the teacher, otherwise it may become.

However, when he was still in elementary school, he felt that he would definitely do some "big things" in the future: "I am thinking that if you can’t live for a few years, you may really need to leave something and make some contributions.Always live in people’s hearts. "

This is the idea of budding in elementary school. He needs to find a specific content for it.

The idea of doing "big events" is not ashamed of being ashamed, Xu Mengnan vaguely feels that it is a wrong thing to have this idea.After having the idea of "education reform", he recalled that he would prevent others like a thief, and felt that he could not be interrupted by doing "big events": tell which person, that person will report the situation to his fatherIsn’t it necessary to be taken away from work, and you can’t take the college entrance examination?

Xu Mengnan described that he has always "prefer to do things with the goal."

This has not been completely changed so far.For example, he didn’t like writing at all, but published a lot of articles on the Internet that explained his views, and also wrote related novels: "Because of the purpose."

Without the purpose, he seemed insufficient.After reading some articles that Han Han criticized and educated, he was immersed in his "digging some good education programs", and Han Han’s other articles did not read it again;He did not learn to play games by the way.

Internet cafe visual Chinese information map

He just listened to a "White Fox" in the Internet cafe, and he was very impressed. He sang in the song: "I am a fox who practiced for thousands of years.See me dancing … "

Now when you hear this song, Xu Mengnan will feel sad and think of his past.

The person who "doesn’t like" and "uncomfortable" is himself.He has no ideal career, and there is no decent hobby -not like sports, such as playing basketball. In junior high school, "poor grades (classmates) will play, we are generally studying well"; he does not read through novels through novels., Not chasing the stars.He lacks longing for cities.His father had the craftsmanship of flower guns. When he did not go out to work, Xu Mengnan went to the county in the first year when he arrived in the county.He is always unwilling to stay at home for the New Year.

High school reads one of the most local Mengcheng Middle School, which is far from the center of the county.The recent government agency is the Mengcheng Post and Telecommunications Bureau.He often passes and never looks at this building.He has no concept of office work.

After the college entrance examination, Xu Mengnan first worked in the suburbs of Shanghai. Later, he studied undergraduate undergraduate and did an internship in Nanjing. However, he did not like Shanghai or Nanjing. He felt that he was "not breathable and his vision was too short."

He has always wanted to imitate Jiang Duoduo, the candidate of the college entrance examination in 2006, to express his dissatisfaction with education on the examination paper.Before the college entrance examination, he was determined.

Before he joined some QQ groups to promote his "ideas", sometimes he quickly exited after speaking, fearing that he had conflicts with people; until he started writing the "檄 檄" that had been prepared on the college entrance examination paper, he was nervous, afraid ofSeeing by the teacher, whenever the supervisor walked through him, "I deliberately blocked a little."

unexpected result

After the college entrance examination, Xu Mengnan had "committed suicide" twice.

What he wants is to hide, leaving a suicide note by the way, which can also cause reporters to report his affairs.He couldn’t stay well at home. One was that he could not face his parents after he felt the score was announced.

For the first time, "suicide", he wandered in the county seat for a day, and returned to the original rental office. The "Book of Writing" left was not even moved; the second was after the college entrance examination was released.In the Internet cafe, he saw that he had scored 143 points, and it was difficult to understand where the scores came from.He searched the hotline of Anhui TV and some newspapers on the Internet dizzy. He went to the supermarket to use public telephones to fight one by one. Some said that he had written down the cause and some of them were "not interested".

Under the stimulus, he modified his "brilliant letter" and took a car to the nearby Lixin County.This time I wandered for two days and one night. I couldn’t help but report to the family phone and reported peace. I walked back, but did not go home, but went online overnight.

Xu Mengnan described that he had an appointment with his father on the phone before, and met at the door of the Internet cafe the next morning.In the morning, his father did not come. He saw that the class teacher held a child at the door of the middle school.The head teacher saw him and said to him in a comfortable tone that in order to find him, his father turned the whole city.He was just puzzled: Why didn’t his father go to the newspaper with a brilliant letter?

In the next few days, he still asked the family to ask for money, go to Internet cafes to go online to find a hotline, and then endure the fear of being afraid of being ridiculed by reporters, and call the newspaper.

A media in Anhui found him according to his home phone number. He remembered that he called for 50 minutes and talked a lot, "super nervous".Before the report was published, he obeyed the arrangement at home, went to Shanghai to work, and then went to the small restaurant opened in Zhejiang to help work.Later, the interview draft saw the report. Xu Mengnan found that he did not introduce his "educational concept" and was disappointed.

Xu Mengnan published a lot of articles that advocated their opinions on the Internet, and later booked it into a book.Photo by Zhang Wei

His father’s remarks were also published on that report.My father said, "I saw that he wrote a lot of things, I didn’t literate, I didn’t know what he wrote, and he didn’t tell us what he had. I didn’t know what he was thinking."

During that time, he had no mobile phone, and his sister would not go out to surf the Internet again.The restaurant works a lot, and it is very late; he was sitting at the door of the small restaurant and crying, "uncomfortable and happy."

There were TV stations invited him to the show before.He didn’t want to go. The people in the show group found his cousin in the village, grinded a few grinds, and persuaded him to face the camera.He doesn’t like to record the show. "You have to memorize the lines." It is roughly to be ready to say before taking office."If I let me go up now, I might tell them a passage, and I always wanted to talk about it at that time, but I couldn’t tell." His website was updated until 2021, and he would also promote "education ideals", but he is still afraid of shame so farDon’t like shooting videos.

From the college entrance examination to the re -examination, he spent ten years out of education and spoke to the air.Asked why I have never been reading, I still have the answer that a 20 -year -old young man will have. It may be a resistance to the rugged roads, and the fear of "standing up and answering" may also be just a kind of lazy toss;He said, unwilling: "Thinking of what the teacher in the school let me do (what I have), I can’t do what I want to do, I’m distressed."

Now, if he goes to ask him, he will say that he is still working hard for his educational ideals, and wait for the animation bloggers to earn some money and want to go abroad to study a degree in education.He himself also knew that maybe two years later, he was still at home, and was a half -high animation blogger.However, in the final analysis, a "ideal" company is happy.It warms him.

(Surging news reporter Zhang Wei also contributed to this article.)

Zhou Yuhua, a senior editor in this issue

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